Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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