im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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