hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
