Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
