All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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