weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
