miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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