Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
