I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
