Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
