Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
