I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize