Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
