It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
