Im at strip club and am horny
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize