I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
