In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
