Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
