and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
