Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize