You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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