he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
