So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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