I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
