Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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