He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Randomize
