Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
