i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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