Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.

(301): View more from Maryland

but she's really nice

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(818): View more from California

You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night

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(304): View more from West Virginia

yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.

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(714): View more from California

And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea

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(908): View more from New Jersey

All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti

(615): View more from Tennessee

That's what happens when you party with the tribe

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