Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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