Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
