the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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