It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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