dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
