11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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