I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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