Sponge bath it is.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
