I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
