so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
All the doctor said was why
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize