Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize