i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
