I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
