i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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