He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
