Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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