I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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