Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
