Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
two words...techno handjob
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
