dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
