How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
