So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
