So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
