my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It's official drugs can't kill me
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize