Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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