Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
