her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize