for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Randomize
