Your dad touched me again.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
