Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
