I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
