Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
