i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
