what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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