This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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