Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
