just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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