Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
