i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
