walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
