Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
