so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
