At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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