called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
