You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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