Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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