Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
