New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
