I think i peed on brittanys purse
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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