Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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