He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
soo... how was my night?
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