I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
