I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
