Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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