I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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