Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Ketchup is God's man juice
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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