My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
