Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize