The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
