so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
