I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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