This girl is more easily done than said...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
